Caring for someone can be both emotionally and physically demanding. While you’re focused on supporting your loved one, it’s just as important to look after your own mental and physical wellbeing.
Caring for a loved one can feel like an emotional rollercoaster. At times, it can be extremely rewarding and full of love, but it may also make you feel anxious, angry, exhausted, and even resentful. All of these feelings are normal and should not make you feel guilty.
You do not have to cope with these emotions on your own. On this page, you’ll find practical advice, information, and resources to support your emotional wellbeing while caring for your loved one.
If you are struggling to cope:
Help is available. You do not have to do this alone.
Samaritans (Republic of Ireland): https://www.samaritans.org/samaritans-ireland
Samaritans (Northern Ireland): https://www.samaritans.org
According to Mental Health UK, stress tends to be short-term. It may impact your sleep, energy, and emotions, but you are often still able to carry on with the activity that is causing you stress.
Stress can be detrimental to your health, and if it continues over time without relief, it may lead to burnout. Burnout is sometimes considered a workplace issue, but it can be experienced alongside other life pressures, such as being a caregiver, parent, or living with a chronic illness. It can leave you feeling emotionally drained, physically exhausted, and unable to cope.
You can learn more about caregiver-specific burnout here: Caregiver Burnout – Cleveland Clinic
Anxiety is a common emotional state, often described as feelings of unease, such as worry or fear. Most people feel anxious from time to time (Mental Health Foundation). Anxiety can be useful in helping us avoid danger, but when experienced in safe situations, it can become overwhelming.
As a caregiver, you may feel anxious about your loved one’s future, their health, or the care you’re providing. Anxiety can cause physical symptoms such as nausea, loss of appetite, or muscle tension. If you are experiencing any of these, it’s a good idea to speak to your GP.
More information:
Mind – Carers and Mental Health
Carer’s guilt is complex and can be extremely distressing. Guilt is a normal human emotion, and it’s very common among carers. We are often our own worst critic, and thoughts like “I’m not doing enough” can be difficult to get rid of.
Some carers also feel guilty about the emotions they’re experiencing, for example, frustration or resentment. It’s important to remember that these feelings are completely normal and do not make you a bad person.
Read more:
Carers UK – Coping with Guilt and Other Difficult Emotions
Sadness and grief can be overwhelming for carers. You might experience:
These feelings can change over time. If they become persistent or impact your daily life, they could be signs of depression.
Helpful links:
Marie Curie – Life After Caring
Bereavement – Adult Palliative Hub
Loneliness can happen for many reasons, and it’s a normal part of being human. It is not something to be ashamed of. However, over time it can have a negative impact on your mental health.
Try to recognise feelings of isolation early and seek support when possible.
More information links:
Republic of Ireland: HSE – Loneliness and Isolation
Northern Ireland: Carers.org – Tackling Loneliness
You may feel anger or frustration about your situation as a carer. This is normal. Caring often involves big life changes, and things may no longer look how you expected or hoped.
Try not to feel guilty for experiencing these emotions. Acknowledging how you feel is a key part of looking after your own wellbeing. Support and small changes can help ease the pressure.
More information:
Carers UK – Coping with Anger and Resentment
Even small steps can help improve your mood and support your mental wellbeing. If you’re experiencing any of the emotions mentioned above, try some of the tips below.
Remember: you matter. Negative emotions are a normal part of being human, but if they become persistent, or if you’re experiencing physical symptoms like changes in sleep or appetite, it’s important to speak to a healthcare professional, such as your GP.
Taking breaks is an important part of protecting your mental health. When you’re caring for someone, it can feel like there’s never time to stop, but without rest, it’s easy to become overwhelmed or burnt out.
Carers UK have developed a factsheet and video series on taking breaks, which you might find helpful:
Being a carer can feel lonely, but you are not alone. If you don’t feel comfortable talking to a family member or friend, there are confidential support services available to help you.
You can view support services here.
If you do want to speak to someone close to you but aren’t sure where to start, Mind has tips and guidance:
Looking After Yourself – Mind
Being a carer brings huge responsibility and a wide range of emotions. Feeling angry, upset, guilty, or frustrated is completely normal. Try not to be hard on yourself.
Calm offers simple advice for self-kindness here:
How to Be Kind to Yourself – Calm
Choose one small, enjoyable thing to do each day, just for you. This might be going outside, enjoying a favourite meal, watching TV, calling a friend, or listening to music.
It doesn’t need to be big to make a difference. Regular moments of joy help ease stress.
Carers.org has a helpful self-care toolkit you can explore here:
Adult Carer Wellbeing Toolkit (PDF)
(Please note: this is a large document and may take a minute to open)
Physical activity, even in small amounts, can help improve your mental wellbeing. This could be a short walk, chair stretches, gardening, or light housework. Do what feels manageable.
The HSE offers helpful suggestions here:
HSE – Physical Activity and Mental Health
Breathing exercises and meditation can reduce stress, improve focus, and help manage emotions. Even a few minutes a day can have a calming effect.
If you’re new to these practices, Mindful.org has a simple guide to get started:
How to Meditate – Mindful.org
