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Caring for Someone at Home

It is important to always keep note of your emergency out-of-hours contact details. If in doubt, contact a health and social care professional.

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Many people who need palliative care prefer to stay at home for as long as this is possible. Usually, care will be provided by the GP and nursing services (such as district or community nurses). Dedicated palliative care services are available, but these may only be provided to people with medically ‘complex’ care needs. To find out about locally available palliative care services you should talk to a healthcare professional or you may want to refer to this guide which provides details on some of the palliative care services available across the island of Ireland. Services available within Northern Ireland are also available on the Health and Social Care Trust websites. To access many of these services, you will require a referral from a GP.

This booklet has been developed to help people ask the questions they need the answers to from healthcare professionals so they can better understand what their options are and what is available: Palliative Care: Asking the questions that matter to me

Introduction to home-based care

Home-based care is a part of many people’s experience with Palliative Care. Remember, its important to always consider what you are comfortable with as a carer, as well as what your loved one is comfortable with. Clear communication is key and will ensure a co-ordinated approach in supporting care at home. Your views are important and will be central to the decisions that will be made in relation to the care provided.

Palliative care within the community is a collaborative approach, ultimately your loved ones GP is responsible for their medical care with the support of the Specialist Palliative Care team within the community. Public Health Nurses/District Nurses and Specialist Palliative Care Nurses will provide nursing care and support, based on a person’s needs. Other health and social care professionals within the community may also be involved in delivering care, these may include Occupational Therapists, Physiotherapists, Speech and Language Therapists, Dieticians and Social Workers.

Palliative care at home can be a deeply emotional experience, both for the person with the life-limiting illness and those important to them. Take the time to reflect, consider and process all the information you have received to help inform your future care decisions. Your views and wishes are central to decisions that will be made about the care your loved one receives so it may be useful to consider what support and structures are currently in place and what supports are needed to allow for care at home to continue, if that is their preference. Their Community Specialist Palliative Care Team and their community service providers such as their GP and Public Health Nurses/District Nurse are key to these discussions and they will be able to provide advice and guidance regarding available supports and how to access them. Advice from other health and social professionals may also be useful to help inform conversations and decision making.  

If your loved one does not have a GP contact here:

Finding a GP in Northern Ireland: Your local doctor (GP)

Finding a GP in the Republic of Ireland: General Practitioners or Family Doctors

Top Tips

It is important when caring for someone to ensure that the home is safe and comfortable, and there are many ways this can be done. GPs as well as community/district nurses/public health nurses, and other allied health professionals such as Occupational Therapists (OTs) can support with this by finding equipment and adaptations that may help your loved one. However, there are also steps you can take and things you can do in the home to make it safe and comfortable:

  1. Make the space feel like home: When caring for someone at home, there can be lots of different equipment, medication and other items around that may not usually be there. Ensuring that personal touches such as photographs, music, familiar TV shows or movies are available as this can make your loved one feel more at ease. Additionally, ensuring that hobbies are available may also provide comfort, such as reading, drawing or knitting. Keeping the space as calm and quiet as possible may also provide comfort.
  2. Lighting and Temperature: Ensuring that the temperature is set to a comfortable level and that lighting isn’t too dull or too harsh can help someone feel more relaxed and comfortable. Using a few light blankets may be more appropriate than using one heavy one so that they can be easily adjusted if required.
  3. Make the home easy to move around: Ensuring that wires, trip hazards and clutter is moved away to minimise the risk of falls or accidents. Ensuring there is enough space to move around and that everything is on the same level (i.e. not upstairs) can make the home feel more accessible
  4. Ensuring bathroom safety: There is lots of equipment that can be used to make bathroom visits more safe, for example utilising grab rails, raised toilet seats and non-slip mats can all be great options to minimise risk. Additionally, commodes or other equipment can help your loved one use the toilet more safely if necessary.
  5. Set up a medication station: Stored safely away from children or pets is of paramount importance. Setting up a secure medication station, with medication tracking and information can help ensure that the provision of medication is organised and will make information readily available to anyone who may need it.

Remember, it’s always important to ensure that you and your loved one are comfortable with what is happening; giving the person as much information and control as possible is really important. Some carers provide support by listening and offering comfort. Others provide help with meals, medications, transportation and organising appointments. Some carers may be happy helping with practical caring tasks such as personal hygiene/bathing, grooming and skin care. If you are unsure about providing care discuss it with a healthcare professional and ask if you need something explained. Remember, if you do not feel comfortable or confident in providing particular types of care, you should make this clear to the healthcare professional so that alternative options can be considered.

You may be providing care for the first time and in need of help with particular tasks. You should ask a healthcare provider to show you what to do until you are confident that you can try it yourself. It’s a good idea to practice caring skills when a healthcare professional is there to guide you. There are also websites which provide guidance on some simple caring tasks or you may want to contact one of these helplines.

Remember – everyone’s needs are different – don’t feel embarrassed by asking for guidance, no matter how simple the task may appear. See below for some practical advice on providing personal care

  1. Prepare everything first: towel, soap, fresh clothes – so you don’t need to leave the person unattended.
  2. Let your loved one do what they can: even small tasks like brushing hair or holding a sponge support dignity and independence.
  3. Use warm water and a calm voice: this helps reduce discomfort or distress.
  4. Clean from cleanest to dirtiest areas: this helps avoid spreading germs.


If resistance happens, try again later. A different time of day might work better.

Person-centred care is really important for supporting someone with toileting and continence. Keeping your loved one involved in their care helps them feel more in control. It is best to encourage your loved one to do as much as they can themselves to maintain independence if they are able. Some people may feel too embarrassed to ask for help, so make sure to always treat them with kindness and respect.

If the person has communication difficulties, they might not be able to say when they need the toilet and may become agitated or restless. Getting to know their non-verbal cues can help you recognise when they need support.

Respond quickly when they need to use the toilet. Give them enough time and privacy, whether using a toilet, bedpan, commode or something else.

Some people may need equipment to help with toileting, especially if they have pain, mobility issues or confusion. A GP, district nurse or specialist nurse can refer them to an occupational therapist, who can advise on aids like handrails, commodes or hoists. Loose, easy-to-remove clothing can also make things easier.

Here are some tips to help support your loved one:

  • Keep to a regular routine – e.g., after meals or every 2–3 hours.
  • Watch for signs they need the toilet – fidgeting, pulling at clothes, restlessness.
  • Use clear, simple language if they have memory problems.
  • Have spare clothes and wipes ready in case of accidents.
  • Use barrier creams to protect the skin if they wear pads or are bedbound.

It is important to keep an eye out for any skin changes or other changing symptoms such as mucus, blood in urine or stools, pain in lower back or UTI symptoms. You can read more about bowel and bladder incontinence here: Marie Curie – Continence care in Palliative Care

Meals and nutrition are an important part of palliative care; meeting these needs are very much about the individual and what they need. Understanding your loved ones nutrition and hydration is important but it’s also crucial to remember that these needs are complex and multifaceted and can change at different phases. A dietician can help support you and your loved one to better understand needs.

During the last weeks, days or hours of life, it’s normal for people to eat and drink less than usual or not at all. When someone is dying:

  • their body slows down and needs less energy
  • they may be unable to process food and drink
  • they may be too sleepy or weak to swallow.

You can support your family member or friend to eat and drink if they want to and are able to, but they should not be forced to. Trying to eat more food than they want to might make them feel uncomfortable: read more here: Marie Curie – Eating and drinking less at end of life

Some practical things you can do to support include:

  1. Create a calm, comfortable setting
    Try to offer meals at regular times in a relaxed environment. Soft lighting, background music or TV, and sitting where they usually eat (if possible) can help make mealtimes feel more normal and enjoyable.
  2. Encourage independence where possible
    Let them choose from simple options and help with preparation if they’re able. Even small choices (like picking between two meals) can help with independence and maintaining dignity.
  3. Offer smaller meals more often
    If appetite is low, try 4–6 small meals or snacks a day rather than three large ones. High-calorie snacks (like yogurt, cheese, or bananas) can help maintain weight. Remember: appetite can change at different phases and can also be caused by an underlying issue. If you are concerned, contact your loved one’s health and social care professionals.
  4. Make food easier to eat
    • Cut food into bite-sized pieces
    • Use soft foods if chewing is difficult
    • Try finger foods if cutlery is a challenge
    • Use adapted plates, cups, or cutlery if needed
  1. Support with feeding if necessary
    Sit facing the person, talk calmly, and go at their pace. Don’t rush. Watch for signs of tiredness or discomfort.
  2. Encourage fluids throughout the day
    Dehydration can cause confusion or fatigue. Offer water, juice, or warm drinks regularly – especially if they’re not asking for drinks themselves.

Please note it’s important to consider meals and nutrition alongside other considerations such as swallowing difficulties, weight loss or weight gain, medication, supplements, mental wellbeing and other health issues. If you have any questions contact your loved one’s health and social care professionals.

Your loved ones GP or nurse can show you how to safely give medications, including pain relief, and what to do if symptoms change suddenly (such as pain, breathlessness, agitation, or nausea). Don’t hesitate to ask them to explain again or to write things down for you.

At end of life, its common for symptoms to become more distressing. For this reason, anticipatory medicines are prescribed in advance in case distressing symptoms develop. You can learn more about these here: Marie Curie – Anticipatory Medications

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